I Hate Student Elections

Each year, there's no bigger mess to cleanup than the goddamn student elections. This year is no exception.

Let me implore upon to understand how ridiculous this shit is: School doesn't start for a fucking week, and already these douchebag kids are in here with their highfalutin posters and banners. One kid, whose name I won't mention - but it starts with an "W" and ends in a "illiam Jenkins" - is running on the Whig platform. I didn't even know that party still existed. Apparently the kid is pretty stuffy, just liked those damned ol' Whigs, as I've heard rumblings that his nickname is "Old Fuss and Feathers."

I won't go on any longer, I just wanted to get the point across that I will eventually beat, unmercifully, the winning and losing candidate in all elections.

I Beat My Meat on My Summer Retreat

School's almost back in session. I've been preparing by conducting two-a-days, if you know what I mean. Managed to get my hands on a copy of the Boynton Beach Middle School 2005 Yearbook. Took a sneak peek at the incoming freshman chicas. I don't want to get anyone's hopes up too much, but from the looks of it we're gonna be seeing some Choice-Cut, Grade-A, high-quality scootch. And that's just what I know from the glance I got at the ESOL club pictures before the cops took the yearbook away.

Either way, I'm lookin' forward to the start of the new year.