Deep Throat is Mark Felt?

That begs the question: Who does that make the art teacher, Mrs. Jennings? I thought she was Deep Throat.

Just for fun, here's a poem I wrote about Deep Throat many moons ago, when I thought it was Mrs. Jennings. (it doesn't all rhyme.)

While art may be your vocation,
Your fellatio sends me on a vacation,
While you're lecturing about brush strokes,
I long to stroke your bush (with my prong.)

When you're busy molding clay,
I'm anticipating a roll in the hay,
Whilst that clay is in the kiln,
You shan drop your pants and be driln (with thy shanker.)

Good times.

At the Movies... with Janitor Dan

This week's movie review comes from the Adult Section. Ramboner stars Cumchester Stabbone as a Gulf War vetern who goes back to the newly democratic Afghanistan in order to spread the teachings of the Morman church. When he arrives, he is captured by a militant group of Afghani lipstick lesbians, who make him their sex slave and brainwash him into a worshipping a buxom, brunette god.

I enjoyed Ramboner immensely. Stabbone's screen time was minimal once the sex scenes started, which is a huge plus in my book. The Afghani lesbians were all gorgeous and well proportioned in the chest and buttock areas.

The best part of the movie had to do with the fact that as their sex slave, Stabbone was only forced to bring them sex toys and different types of Afghani cuisines, which would then be used by the lesbians for nasty sex stuff. He was fully clothed in all of his scenes, and for that reason I'm giving the movie 4/5 MOPS. (Multiple Orgasms Per Scene)

A Note to the Hot Teachers

Seems like all over the country the past couple years, we've been hearing about young, pretty teachers doing it with their students.

I have one thing to say to that: Save a student; Do a janitor.

Why get yourself in all kinds of trouble with these kids? A high school kid doesn't know his way around a woman like I do. And some prepubescent kid isn't going to be able to offer you four full inches of manhood like I can.

Wanna know the best part about doing me? I'll clean up the mess afterwards.

I Swear The Festering Wound On My Mouth Isn't Herpes

Seriously, ladies: It's ok to kiss me. You won't catch anything. From what I've heard, herpes comes and goes, right? Well, what I've got has been on there for a while, and it ain't going nowhere.

You all remember that student-teacher Ms. Johnson, right? She didn't get herpes. She died of some sort of beef drape deficiency. I had nothing to do with that.

So, disregard that memo the school nurse sent out. I personally guarantee that you will be safe coming within ten feet of me. On top of that, I'll give you my prescription for Valtrex if you do contract something. That's for my genital herpes, but I assume that it would work on your mouth, too.