Wanted: Aspiring Janitor for Senior Switch Day

Life is funny.

One day, you're the loveable Janitor Dan, friend to the assistant principals, confidant to the students, and insatiable lover to Home Ec teacher Ms. Miller.

The next day, you're the lonely, miserable, old coot who can't score a student to learn your profession on Senior Switch Day.

Honestly, kids, what the fuck?

I used to be cool. I used to crack wise with the seniors, give noogies to the freshman, and attend the PTA meetings - just to show I cared. But now, it's like I'm a joke to the students. Just three days ago some kid threw a tuna sandwich at my head.

I can't believe that some senior wanted to spend the day with that transgender PE teacher and not me.

Please, all I'm asking is for one senior to step up to the plate and be my shadow for a day. Doesn't anyone want to learn how to clean up vomit in the cafetoriam, or how to rifle through the principal's trash when he leaves in the evening? I can take you to worlds unknown!

I'll take a jock, cheerleader, nerd, beef drape, or even an ESOL student. Throw me a bone!